What Not To Say While In Love
by johnnydicaprio
Summary: - "So, what, you’re an expert on love now?" - "Why is that such a crazy possibility? And besides, just because you think you aren’t mature enough for love doesn’t mean you don’t feel it. It's not going to ask your age."


_All dialogue story, basically plotting Ron and Hermione's journey as they gather enough courage to tell each other how they feel. Interesting conversations ensue._

_Enjoy.  
_

* * *

**4****th**** Year, Common Room: **

"Ron?"

"Hmm?"

"Ron!"

"What, Hermione?"

"Ron, would you look at me for more than three seconds?"

"I am looking at you."

"No, you're not. You're looking at the book. Put the book down."

"…"

"Why do you look so surprised?"

"Because you're telling me to put down a _book._ You, Hermione Granger, are asking me to _stop_ reading. Effectively, _you _are asking me to stop studying! Is this what the end of the world feels like? Where are the four horsemen?"

"Stop exaggerating."

"I'm not! You're telling me to fail a test!"

"Don't put words in my mouth, I'm not telling you to fail a test!"

"Yes, you are!"

"Well, sometimes there are more important things than studying."

"…"

"Who the hell are you and what have you done with Hermione?"

"Hardi-har-har. Now would you please pay attention, I'm trying to tell you something."

"…"

"Ron, stop staring at me like I'm from outer space."

"Well I'm _sorry _if I'm still a little shocked."

"Oh, for crying out loud. You're making it sound as if I asked you to burn the bloody books."

"And this is getting weirder by the second – did you just swear?"

"Yes, I did. _Now_, will you pay attention?"

"Blimey, it must be serious. Go ahead, I'm all ears."

"Thank you."

"…"

"You're really starting to scare me."

"Stop looking so worried, it isn't a big deal. I just need to talk to you about something."

"Well, shoot. I'm listening now that you've interfered with my studying and I'm going to fail Binn's test."

"It's not like you were studying properly anyway…"

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Well, you're in the common room, you're half-asleep, and don't think that I didn't see the new edition of _Quidditch Weekly_ inside your textbook! And you wonder why you fail Binn's class!"

"Ah, there's the Hermione I know and love."

"…"

"Where's Harry?"

"In the Owlery. He's sending a letter to Si – I mean, Padfoot."

"Right…"

"Is _that_ what you wanted to ask me?"

"No – "

"Hermione, if _that's _why you stopped me from studying for that bloody test – "

"Oh, stop getting your panties in a twist."

"My God. Harry and I are being a bad influence on you."

"…"

"Hermione, now you're stalling. If you wanted to stare at me in silence, you could have done that twenty minutes ago."

"Alright. Here goes…I – "

"What did you do?"

"Excuse me?! I didn't do anything!"

"Is this about the Transfiguration essay I turned in late? Because I don't need a second McGonagall lecturing me – "

"This is not about the essay, Ron."

"Well, what is it about? I'm getting old waiting."

"It's just that…"

"It's that I…"

"Hermione, you're blushing."

"I am not!"

"Are too."

"Shut up!"

"HEY! No need for violence!"

"Well, that's what you get for annoying the hell out of me."

"…"

"Stop staring at me like that, Ron."

"Then tell me what's wrong."

"Fine! I am… - RON I SAID STOP STARING!"

"Alright, alright! Now who's getting their panties in a twist."

"Don't think for one second you have any effect whatsoever on my panties."

"Then what do I have an effect on?"

"Other than my temper, nothing!"

"…"

"Are you ever going to tell me whatever you were going to tell me?"

"I don't know. Stop staring at me, and I might."

"Fine, I'll look over here. Now will you tell me?"

"Well, I can't exactly talk to you when you're openly staring at the floor."

"Sort out your priorities woman!"

* * *

**6****th**** Year, Library: **

"Hermione?"

"Hmm?"

"What time is it?"

"Half nine, I think."

"Huh…"

"…"

"Ron?"

"Hm?"

"Wasn't Harry supposed to be studying with us?"

"He's gone up to sleep. The Quidditch match really wore him down."

"Oh, right…"

"So…you're reading?"

"What?"

"I'm talking about that giant book in your hand, Hermione."

"Oh, this? It's about the Goblin Rebellions of the 16th century…You know, its actually pretty interesting; did you know that there was a goblin that massacred this whole army of Ministry… – Ron?"

"Huh? Right, sorry. I was just resting my eyes."

"Uh-huh. This is actually the book _you're _supposed to be reading. I've already finished studying. But I suppose _Quidditch Weekly _is more intellectually stimulating reading material."

"…"

"Earth to Ron, earth to Ron. Come in, Ron."

"What?"

"Never mind, it's a muggle thing."

"…"

"Why is Lance Bloufer staring at you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Behind you. Over there by the windows. Bloufer. He's staring at you."

"Oh? Well, I don't know."

"He's a smelly git."

"Uh-huh."

"He's still staring."

"Well, go ask him why."

"Don't think I won't."

"…"

"Weren't you going?"

"I'm…I'm a bit tired. I'll ask him tomorrow."

"Mmmhmm."

"I will!"

"…"

"Hermione?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you like anyone?"

"Do I what?"

"Like. Anyone."

"What, like Lance Bloufer?"

"Shut up."

"What? I happen to think he's a little slice of heaven."

"That's not funny."

"Am I not allowed to like Slytherins now?"

"Hermione…"

"Alright, I think I took it too far."

"I agree. Well, do you?"

"…"

"Besides Lance Bloufer?"

"Hermione!"

"Alright, alright. Don't get so worked up. I can see the vein in your forehead. Violence is not the answer, Ron."

"Sometimes it is."

"To answer your question, yes I do happen to like quite a lot of people."

"Wh-What do you mean?"

"Well, I like you."

"…"

"And Harry, and Ginny, and Neville. And my family, of course."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Oh?"

"I meant, do you _love _anyone? Interested in anyone? Fancy anyone? Want to shag any – "

"I get your point, Ron."

"Well, do you?

"I don't think I'm old enough to know that kind of love yet, actually."

"Oh, come on."

"I'm serious."

"Lot's of people our age are in love."

"Example?"

"Harry and Ginny are in love."

"You don't know that, Ron."

"Well they're going out."

"That proves nothing."

"Yes it does."

"So, what, you're an expert on love now?"

"Why is that such a crazy possibility? And you haven't answered the question, Hermione. Just because you think you aren't mature enough for it doesn't mean you don't feel it."

"…"

"Stop avoiding me."

"I am not!"

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are toooooooo…"

"Shut up, Ron!"

"Well, answer me, and I'll be quiet."

"Stop teasing."

"I'm not teasing. Just answer my question."

"Fine. I might have possibly at one point or another liked someone the way you described."

"Liked?"

"I might possibly still like him."

"Really? Have you told this person?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"He won't return my feelings."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I just am."

"He must be out of his mind not to like you back."

"Ha. You're quite the charmer. That's not funny."

"I'm not saying it to be funny. You're – "

"I'm what?"

"Spiffy?"

"Gee, thanks."

"…"

"So why do you think this person won't return your feelings?"

"Because he's just broken up with someone else, and I think he's still hung up on her. I've learned to live with it, really."

"Oh."

"Besides, this person is not…shall we say… the sharpest in the bunch, so I really don't have much hope."

"Who is this person?"

"Try sounding more judgemental?"

"Right. Sorry."

"So are we done now?"

"As soon as you tell me who the guy is."

"Oh, come on."

"Please?"

"No, I'm not telling you."

"Why not?"

"Don't pout."

"Pleeaase?"

"No."

"But I said the magic word!"

"I'm not telling you because you'd take the mickey out of me if I did."

"I wouldn't."

"You would."

"…"

"Ron?"

"…"

"Ron, stop being such a baby!"

"…"

"Fine. Don't talk to me. What a finely tuned response to the situation."

"…"

"It's not like you're going to be able to last much longer."

"I hate to break it to you Hermione, but when you live in a house with 5 other siblings, you get used to not being get a word in. I could go on days without talking."

"Ron, please."

"…"

"Well, I guess I'll go and talk to Bloufer, then."

"…"

"Come on!"

"I will talk if you tell me."

"You know, why don't **you** tell me who **you **love, since you seem to know _so_ much about it."

"Who said I loved anyone?"

"We wouldn't be having this conversation if you didn't love someone."

"…"

"So, Ron. Who's the lucky girl?"

"No one."

"Ron, you're ears are going red."

"They are not!"

"You can't control the color your ears turn, Ron."

"…"

"And now they've turned maroon."

"They have not!"

* * *

**6****th**** Year, School Grounds: **

"Hermione! Hey – Hermione!"

"Uh-huh. Amazing, Ron."

"Look!"

"I am looking."

"You're not."

"You're trying to show me the giant squid; the same animal I've seen periodically over the last seven years."

"But I've – "

"You've also put a hat on him. Yes, I know."

"But he's – "

"You're making him dance. Yes, I can see."

"How'd you…"

"I said I was looking, didn't I?"

"Ron!"

"Hey mate, what is it?"

"Come here for a sec."

"What?"

"Can Hermione hear us?"

"No, her nose is still in that book."

"Oh."

"Harry, why are you grinning like that? You look mental."

"You fancy Hermione, don't you?"

"Say what?"

"Oh, come on now. Not only is it obvious to me, but basically the whole castle is aware."

"No..."

"You're blushing."

"…"

"Ron…"

"Bugger off."

* * *

**7****th**** Year, Chamber of Secrets**

"Ron?"

"Don't stop, Hermione, we need to hurry."

"Ron!"

"What?"

"Have you given this more than three seconds of thought?"

"What do you mean?"

"How are we going to get inside the chamber?"

"I know where the entrance is, Hermione. I was with Harry when he first opened it, remember?"

"Of _course_ I remember, Ron!"

"Alright, alright, no need to yell. It's a left here, the bathroom's this way."

"Have you thought about how we're getting _inside_?"

"Well, I _know _where it is – "

"I know you know where it is, Ron! But neither of us knows parsletongue!"

"Oh. Bloody hell."

"Exactly."

"So, how do you suppose we get in?"

"I haven't the foggiest. Maybe we should go to the library to do a bit of research?"

"Half the castle's been blown up, Hermione."

"Shit."

"Maybe I can imitate him?"

"What do you mean?"

"I remember him speaking in parsletongue. Maybe if I can imitate the sound…"

"Well, it's worth a try. Go ahead."

"Alright. Here goes. _Opheen._"

"That worked brilliantly."

"Shut up. _Ophhhheeen_."

"…"

"You spat on me, Ron."

"Oh. Right. Sorry."

"Myrtle?! Myrtle! Where are you?!"

"Hermione, have you gone insane?! What are you – "

"Well, well weeeelll! Lookie here, it's Grangie and the Weasel!"

"Bugger off, Peeves."

"Now, now, Weasel! Be a good Weasel or I'll call Filchiee on you!"

"Yeah, like he'll show up in the middle of a war."

"Ron, ignore him, just open the chamber!"

"Well, whose fault is it that he's here? Calling for Myrtle…"

"I thought she could help, Ron!"

"Okay, okay, just please don't start crying again."

"I wasn't about to!"

"_Open._"

"Oh, my god."

"Is it opening?"

"IT'S WORKED RON! OH, RON!"

"Hermione, what are you – "

"AAAWWWW! GRANGIE AND THE WEASELBEE, SITTING IN A TREE – K-I-S-S-I-N-G! FIRST COMES LOVE – HEY! BLOODY KIDS!"

"Ron! Stop throwing things at him!"

"Bugger – off – you – glorified piece of pus!"

"He's gone, Ron."

"Right."

"…"

"So, was I imagining things or did you just kiss me?"

"Well, I – "

"Why did you do that?"

"I was just happy."

"When you're happy do you go around kissing everyone?"

"Maybe."

"…"

"Stop smiling like that Ron, it's scaring me."

"The guy."

"What guy?"

"The guy that you liked?"

"What the hell are you on about, Ron?"

"Last year. Library. The guy you liked…"

"No, no, no, no, no…"

"He was me, wasn't it?"

"No."

"Hermione you've gone red."

"I have not!"

"You liked me last year!"

"…"

"Hermione, you like me!"

"Stop saying that."

"You do!"

"Well, you like me!"

"I do."

"What?"

"I said, I do, Hermione."

"Really? I mean, I never thought – "

"GRANGIE AND THE WEASEL, SITTING IN A TREE – K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

"Ignore him."

"Oh, believe me I am."

* * *

_Review? :) _

_Johnnydicaprio  
_


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